Thursday, November 17, 2005

And I Thought We Had It Bad

I now have a whole new appreciation for policeman. Sure, I get angry at them like the rest of you for giving out superfluous tickets while conveniently not being there for the person who nearly kills you by swerving into your lane or runs a red light and honks at you for nearly creaming him. However, I just heard a story that inspires sympathy for some of the things they have to put up with.

The interlibrary loan librarian's (Anne Archy) hubby is a cop. That is a wonderful combination for we can have unannounced police visits at night. A rare commodity indeed. Not only that, a cop with a personal interest in the safety and happiness of his librarian spouse. Take that all you snotty, bad-attitude, porn loving freaks!

But I digress...

The other day, she told us of one of her hubby's adventures. Apparently, he had to stop a large man who was weaving down the street obviously heavily intoxicated (ie: terminally smashed)
So, after talking to him, Mel Archy was required to slap on some cuffs and pat the man down to check for weapons or other illegal substances. Unfortunetly, the pants were so loose that while Mel was checking the pockets, he managed to pants the tipsy gentlemen.

#87 reason why baggy pants are a bad idea.

Trooper that he is, he just kept on going all professionalism. The intoxicated fellow just laughed and wobbled in place. Mel then proceeded to feel under the t-shirt for any other hidden objects. That's when he made the unfortunate revilation that the man wasn't wearing any underpants. I can only imagine the horror of the moment, yet brave brave Mel said nothing and remained nonchalant. The smashed man didn't help by loudly proclaiming:
"Do you know what you're touching?"
Mel: *sigh* Yes, Sir. Now pull your pants up.

Naturally, he immediately went to the squad car to drown his hands in liquid hand sanitizer. The drunkard loudly yelled out as he was escorted to the squad car,
"Why are you doing that?"

No reason, this is my ritual after feeling up drunk men. Was it good for you?

Mel went through this whole uncomfortable process without complaint or loosing his cool. That's just freaking amazing.

I'll try not to complain anymore when when I get my usual butt-crack view from the people sitting at the computers.


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