Friday, January 20, 2006

Florescent light of Doom

It's official, the libary is a medical emergency waiting to happen. The florescent lights that usually remain benign enough to only suck the energy out of us have made their first move to eliminate their human rivals.

Twice in the same week we've had the paramedics called in for people dropping from seizures. The first guy was a member of a local chess club at the nightly meeting. He suddenly fell out of his chair and bust out in a full blown grand mall seizure. He even managed to knock his head on something on his way down.

The second seizure was yesterday. A young girl who had never had a seizure before nor had sustained any head injuries just dropped and had a quiet minor seizure.

It must be the faulty florescent lighting. In the corner of the library there is a short in one of the florescent lights that makes them flicker sporatically like fire light. It can be quite hypnotic. Zog the Intruder said he spent an hour watching the light claiming it looked like flowing water.

Thus and so, it's hypnotic yet slightly sickening motion is slowly deteriorating our physical health and mixing up the neurons and neurotransmitter impulses. Patrons are dropping like flies! It's brainwashing the masses sucking out their brains like a lavalamp inspiring this new rash of horrifyingly dense questions (refer to the apocalpse post).

The maintainance people have messed with it countless times yet the florescent light always prevails!

Beware all ye masses!

*you're not paranoid if things really are out to get you!*


Blogger Happy Villain said...

Oh, that's just spooky. I had visions of the beginning of the movie Joe Versus the Volcano, which is about as deep in flourescent hell as I care to peer. However, I do think you might be right. Seizures are probably another sign that our reign is nearing an end.

2:00 PM  

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